Making Love Last

Flowers are always appreciated. Unexpected flowers are even more appreciated. Dead flowers? Not so good.

Music is powerful. Certain songs remind us of particular times or events in our lives. Create a special evening and include some romantic music.

Your spouse needs time to themselves every once in a while. That’s OK. It allows them to decompress or do something they’ve been wanting to do. Rather than be resentful, use this time to do something you’ve been wanting to do.

When in the midst of an argument, it’s tempting to unload every past injury or unkind word. It’s also not healthy. Stick to one topic and agree to not multitask.

If you feel like your relationship is stuck in a rut, try doing something different. Routines are good. Routines that turn into ruts are not. Eat a new restaurant. Start a new project together. Do something different.

Everyone needs a gentle reminder every now and then. What we don’t need is to be nagged. Look for simple ways to remind your spouse about important items — email reminders, a calendar on the refrigerator, etc.

How do you start your day? You might try this: start your day by giving your spouse a hug or kiss … before you get out of bed! If you’re husband or wife likes coffee, make some and bring it to them.

When was the last time you surprised your spouse? In a good way?

What goals have you set as a couple? Have you taken the time to share your dreams with one another … for your family, your career, or any other personal goals. Having shared goals keeps you on the same page, while allowing you to accomplish those goals together.

What pronouns do you most often use when communicating with your spouse? Do you find yourself starting sentences with “You make me …” or “You just don’t …”? A better way would be say, “I understand you to be saying …”